why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
