Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I FOUND THE LEGS
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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