Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
