Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
