I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
