Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
