Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
