What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
