i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
