After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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