oh god the rape fog is back!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
