She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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