i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
