we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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