I just pynch a tree in the face
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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