i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
