why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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