On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
