Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
