THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
