I'm so fucking centered right now
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
