im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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