got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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