Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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