i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my shit smells like andre
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
