He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
