Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
