wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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