He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
