I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
