I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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