Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i think my cat just said my name.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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