The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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