I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
