ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think my moral compass just broke
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
