We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
