Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
