dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
