shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
