it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
