At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
