Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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