what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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