she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
