OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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