And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
