We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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