one might say we're banned from that church
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it glows. i had to have it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
