and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
