The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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