make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
