I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
