He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A bitchslap is in order.
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