I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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