if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
